He Sees

I don’t know about you, but I like control. I actually like control a little too much. So God and I wrestle with that a lot. I know that realistically, I cannot control everything, but sometimes I still pretend that I can (which is really ridiculous, actually).

God spends a lot of time teaching me that I can’t control everything. That sometimes my greatest act of faith is trusting His control. So often I find myself in situations that I do NOT want to be in just because God wants to show me that He is still in control, not me.

I’ve recently been going through a study of women in the Old Testament and it has been so good. I think each day that I spend time studying a new woman, I realize how much I’m like (or not like) each lady. Through this study, God has really been convicting me and challenging me and it’s been just a really cool process.

A couple weeks ago, the particular woman I was studying was Hagar. I knew her story, but didn’t really think about it. Her life was definitely not ideal. She got pregnant by her mistress’s husband, ran away because her mistress hated her, and then the Lord told her to return and submit. Yes, not something we would want to do. Later on, Sarah bares a son, so Abraham sends Hagar and her son, Ishmael, off.

Hagar and Ishmael get stuck in the desert and then comes the amazing part. They ran out of water and Hagar was sure they were going to die. So she placed her son under a bush and then went to sit away from him. He was still in eyesight of her but she wouldn’t sit next to him because she didn’t want to watch her son die. So like any person would, Hagar starts crying and desperately pleading with the Lord to take her life rather than her son’s. That’s when an angel calls out to Hagar and asks her why she’s troubled. Um, hello? Her son is about to die. She’s stranded in the desert. She has no water. I think she’s got plenty of reasons to be troubled. But that’s when the angel tells her that the Lord has heard her. See, it didn’t matter what Hagar said or where Hagar was. Her story reminds us that even in the driest of deserts, God sees us as individuals. He sees our needs. He addresses them and cares for us.

So that just stuck with me over the weeks. God saw Hagar. God heard Hagar. God protected Hagar. And He does the same thing for me. That’s incredible. So I began spending time thinking about situations that I have completely felt the presence of God take over and times I felt fully confident that He saw me. And then I had one of those experiences.

Like I said, control is hard for me and it’s something I have to work on daily. So long story short, over the past year I’ve felt God working in my heart and preparing me concerning my next mission trip. Little did I know, He was also working in the hearts of one of my best friends. Through many conversations and just moments where I stood in awe of God, Chelsea and I each applied for the same mission trip for next summer.

So after applying I began to look at the logistics. And let me tell you, almost $4,000 to a college student is almost impossible. The idea of having to raise that freaked me out and scared me. I doubted a lot and struggled with how on earth I was supposed to raise that much money. Chelsea and I talked a lot about it and she kept giving me reassurance that if it’s what God wants, the money will come.

Well, we love crafts in our home and we started just a small side business where we make and sell some of our crafts. So we decided to use the money we make from that for our mission trip. Last week, we shared a tiny part of our story on our Facebook page and told people we were doing a discount day to help raise money for it.

We deliver to people who live near us so yesterday we were going to deliver to two of our customers. And that’s where it all comes together. Each time we delivered, they said something along the lines of this: “I know you are only charging me _____. But I know you’re trying to raise money for a mission trip so I put a little extra.” And each person gave us a significant amount of “extra”.

I got in my car after the last delivery and just cried because God saw me. He heard me. He listened to the desperate, scared cries. He watched the doubt and fear. And then He came in and addressed my needs, just like He does every. single. time.

As I was finishing up my Bible study after yesterday’s reassurance, I was reading about Leah and in the devotional it said “God saw her where she was at”. Y’all. The Lord is good. He sees us. And yesterday was one of those precious days that I was reminded of that over and over and over. God sees ME. The Creator of the universe looks at little me. If that’s not overwhelming enough, not only does He see me, He cares for me. He protects me. He provides for me. And He does all the same things for you!

So she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, ‘You are a God of seeing,’ for she said, ‘Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.’ –Genesis 16:13

Priceless

Y’all, we have a problem. A big one.

At this point, I’m sure your minds are spinning with different problems I may be talking about and with all the recent events I’m sure you could come up with a few. But those aren’t the problems I’m talking about. Today, I’m talking about a problem that we face every single day. A problem that haunts many people. I’m talking about the problem of worth—especially worth among girls.

I know I’m going to lose a lot of readers right now. But just bear with me.

You see, as a college-aged girl I see this problem daily. I see girls seeking approval in all the wrong places. And to be totally transparent, I find myself doing the same thing. Girls, you know what I’m talking about, right?

We become fascinated with how many likes or favorites we get on social media. We obsess over the latest trends. We spend hours trying new makeup and hairstyles. We thrive off of competition with each other. I’m guilty of all of this, so I’m preaching to myself as much as everyone else.  Society tells us so many things that are wrong. And I’m not entirely sure why I listen.

The thing that bothers me the most, is that many of us find our worth in guys and I want to camp out here for the rest of this post. Again, I’m so guilty of this. I believe that as Christian, college-aged women, there’s a lot of pressure when it comes to dating. People just expect for you to meet a man and get married. At the small, private college I attend, the campus is constantly joking about the “ring by spring”. But that pressure is definitely there. As a girl entering my third year of college, any time I show slight interest in a guy, everyone freaks out and jumps to the “when are you going to get married” wagon. Which used to be really frustrating, but now it’s kind of funny.

See, it doesn’t matter when I’m getting married. What matters is where my heart is. And girls, we struggle. Our hearts believe that without a man, we are worthless. Our hearts believe that in order to feel beautiful or loved, we must have guys falling over us. Not true. Because you can be all of those things without a boy.

Girls, it’s not a real post about worth without me telling you that you’re beautiful, right? Well you are. You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are priceless. Do not settle.

I know that’s really easy to say and in our heads we agree, but a lot of time, in our hearts we don’t. We look around and we see others in relationships and we want that. We desire that. I’m here to tell you that that’s OKAY. God created our hearts for the desire for relationships. What’s not okay, though, is settling. Girls, you deserve an amazing man. You deserve someone who will love you and cherish you like no person has before. You deserve for people to tell you not to settle and for people to tell you that you deserve so much more than you think you do.

I feel like the realization of the lack of worth among girls is becoming a popular topic, especially within our churches. So I sincerely hope that you have been told all of this before. We hear that we are beautiful, loved, important, all of that. But we hear it from the people we expect to hear it from, you know what I’m saying? We hear it from our parents, our siblings, our closest friends. Yes, it’s important and it means something when we hear it from those people. But we desire to hear it from a man. We long for a guy to tell us these things. I’ve been blessed with a dad that does tell me those things, but sometimes, I just want a boy my age to tell me. And that’s when it hit me.

A few weeks ago, I was in Dallas for a big youth conference that I was attending as a sponsor. I’ve been blessed to have a great group of godly guy friends all through my high school and college time. But when I went to college, that group of solid, awesome, godly guys grew and they reach parts of my heart that my best friends can’t. It’s weird. But it’s so awesome. Anyway, a whole bunch of my guy friends were at this conference, too, and I was so excited to spend some time with them. I love the insight they give me and the words of encouragement they speak over me without even realizing it. Inevitably, one night the topic of boys came up. Jokingly, I asked one of my friends when he was going to find me a new boyfriend. He laughed, looked around the room and said something along the lines of nobody there being good enough for me. I was kind of frustrated by that and just brushed it off. But that night I thought more and more about it. You see, he didn’t specifically say, “Addie, you’re worth something. Don’t settle for a guy here who isn’t going to value you the way you should be valued.” But that’s what spoke to my heart hours, days, weeks after that conversation. He told me that I was worth something and not to settle.

In that moment, my world shook a little bit because I realized that one of the solutions to this problem is boys. We are often very quick to credit boys with causing the problem but I honestly believe that they play a part in the solution. The things I longed to hear, I heard. From a boy my age. Who loves me as a friend and desires to see me happy. I’m sure he didn’t even realize that by saying that he was causing a major spiral effect of thoughts in mind, but it’s really just cool how things like that happen.

In a different conversation with two different friends that same week, the topic of girls came up. This friend said something about if a girl has to lower herself for a guy, then he’s not worth it and he wished girls realized it. That if they hold out then the end reward would be far greater than what they can even imagine. My heart was so encouraged by that. Us girls often give boys the shaft and say that they are all jerks. We say that they’re mean and just play games. We say that they don’t understand our hearts. But, girls, they do. There are incredible guys out there who get it. Guys who look at you and see you as something that is valuable and priceless.

So two things.

Boys, can I encourage you to tell you girl friends that they’re important. That they are beautiful. That they’re valuable to you. Because, trust me, that would mean the world to them. When you do that with the right heart, you encourage us so much more than you realize.

And girls, can I encourage you not to settle? You are worth far more than what that boy will treat you as. Also, let me encourage you to find guys who love the Lord and become friends with them. Their words and actions will change your life. You will feel loved and encouraged by the silliest things that they do. It’s truly incredible the amount of laughter and joy godly guys will bring to your life. They will treat you with respect and show you that the standards you have for your future husband are achievable.

You are loved. You are beautiful. You are worth far more than you can imagine. Ladies, you are priceless.