Priceless

Y’all, we have a problem. A big one.

At this point, I’m sure your minds are spinning with different problems I may be talking about and with all the recent events I’m sure you could come up with a few. But those aren’t the problems I’m talking about. Today, I’m talking about a problem that we face every single day. A problem that haunts many people. I’m talking about the problem of worth—especially worth among girls.

I know I’m going to lose a lot of readers right now. But just bear with me.

You see, as a college-aged girl I see this problem daily. I see girls seeking approval in all the wrong places. And to be totally transparent, I find myself doing the same thing. Girls, you know what I’m talking about, right?

We become fascinated with how many likes or favorites we get on social media. We obsess over the latest trends. We spend hours trying new makeup and hairstyles. We thrive off of competition with each other. I’m guilty of all of this, so I’m preaching to myself as much as everyone else.  Society tells us so many things that are wrong. And I’m not entirely sure why I listen.

The thing that bothers me the most, is that many of us find our worth in guys and I want to camp out here for the rest of this post. Again, I’m so guilty of this. I believe that as Christian, college-aged women, there’s a lot of pressure when it comes to dating. People just expect for you to meet a man and get married. At the small, private college I attend, the campus is constantly joking about the “ring by spring”. But that pressure is definitely there. As a girl entering my third year of college, any time I show slight interest in a guy, everyone freaks out and jumps to the “when are you going to get married” wagon. Which used to be really frustrating, but now it’s kind of funny.

See, it doesn’t matter when I’m getting married. What matters is where my heart is. And girls, we struggle. Our hearts believe that without a man, we are worthless. Our hearts believe that in order to feel beautiful or loved, we must have guys falling over us. Not true. Because you can be all of those things without a boy.

Girls, it’s not a real post about worth without me telling you that you’re beautiful, right? Well you are. You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are priceless. Do not settle.

I know that’s really easy to say and in our heads we agree, but a lot of time, in our hearts we don’t. We look around and we see others in relationships and we want that. We desire that. I’m here to tell you that that’s OKAY. God created our hearts for the desire for relationships. What’s not okay, though, is settling. Girls, you deserve an amazing man. You deserve someone who will love you and cherish you like no person has before. You deserve for people to tell you not to settle and for people to tell you that you deserve so much more than you think you do.

I feel like the realization of the lack of worth among girls is becoming a popular topic, especially within our churches. So I sincerely hope that you have been told all of this before. We hear that we are beautiful, loved, important, all of that. But we hear it from the people we expect to hear it from, you know what I’m saying? We hear it from our parents, our siblings, our closest friends. Yes, it’s important and it means something when we hear it from those people. But we desire to hear it from a man. We long for a guy to tell us these things. I’ve been blessed with a dad that does tell me those things, but sometimes, I just want a boy my age to tell me. And that’s when it hit me.

A few weeks ago, I was in Dallas for a big youth conference that I was attending as a sponsor. I’ve been blessed to have a great group of godly guy friends all through my high school and college time. But when I went to college, that group of solid, awesome, godly guys grew and they reach parts of my heart that my best friends can’t. It’s weird. But it’s so awesome. Anyway, a whole bunch of my guy friends were at this conference, too, and I was so excited to spend some time with them. I love the insight they give me and the words of encouragement they speak over me without even realizing it. Inevitably, one night the topic of boys came up. Jokingly, I asked one of my friends when he was going to find me a new boyfriend. He laughed, looked around the room and said something along the lines of nobody there being good enough for me. I was kind of frustrated by that and just brushed it off. But that night I thought more and more about it. You see, he didn’t specifically say, “Addie, you’re worth something. Don’t settle for a guy here who isn’t going to value you the way you should be valued.” But that’s what spoke to my heart hours, days, weeks after that conversation. He told me that I was worth something and not to settle.

In that moment, my world shook a little bit because I realized that one of the solutions to this problem is boys. We are often very quick to credit boys with causing the problem but I honestly believe that they play a part in the solution. The things I longed to hear, I heard. From a boy my age. Who loves me as a friend and desires to see me happy. I’m sure he didn’t even realize that by saying that he was causing a major spiral effect of thoughts in mind, but it’s really just cool how things like that happen.

In a different conversation with two different friends that same week, the topic of girls came up. This friend said something about if a girl has to lower herself for a guy, then he’s not worth it and he wished girls realized it. That if they hold out then the end reward would be far greater than what they can even imagine. My heart was so encouraged by that. Us girls often give boys the shaft and say that they are all jerks. We say that they’re mean and just play games. We say that they don’t understand our hearts. But, girls, they do. There are incredible guys out there who get it. Guys who look at you and see you as something that is valuable and priceless.

So two things.

Boys, can I encourage you to tell you girl friends that they’re important. That they are beautiful. That they’re valuable to you. Because, trust me, that would mean the world to them. When you do that with the right heart, you encourage us so much more than you realize.

And girls, can I encourage you not to settle? You are worth far more than what that boy will treat you as. Also, let me encourage you to find guys who love the Lord and become friends with them. Their words and actions will change your life. You will feel loved and encouraged by the silliest things that they do. It’s truly incredible the amount of laughter and joy godly guys will bring to your life. They will treat you with respect and show you that the standards you have for your future husband are achievable.

You are loved. You are beautiful. You are worth far more than you can imagine. Ladies, you are priceless.