He Sees

I don’t know about you, but I like control. I actually like control a little too much. So God and I wrestle with that a lot. I know that realistically, I cannot control everything, but sometimes I still pretend that I can (which is really ridiculous, actually).

God spends a lot of time teaching me that I can’t control everything. That sometimes my greatest act of faith is trusting His control. So often I find myself in situations that I do NOT want to be in just because God wants to show me that He is still in control, not me.

I’ve recently been going through a study of women in the Old Testament and it has been so good. I think each day that I spend time studying a new woman, I realize how much I’m like (or not like) each lady. Through this study, God has really been convicting me and challenging me and it’s been just a really cool process.

A couple weeks ago, the particular woman I was studying was Hagar. I knew her story, but didn’t really think about it. Her life was definitely not ideal. She got pregnant by her mistress’s husband, ran away because her mistress hated her, and then the Lord told her to return and submit. Yes, not something we would want to do. Later on, Sarah bares a son, so Abraham sends Hagar and her son, Ishmael, off.

Hagar and Ishmael get stuck in the desert and then comes the amazing part. They ran out of water and Hagar was sure they were going to die. So she placed her son under a bush and then went to sit away from him. He was still in eyesight of her but she wouldn’t sit next to him because she didn’t want to watch her son die. So like any person would, Hagar starts crying and desperately pleading with the Lord to take her life rather than her son’s. That’s when an angel calls out to Hagar and asks her why she’s troubled. Um, hello? Her son is about to die. She’s stranded in the desert. She has no water. I think she’s got plenty of reasons to be troubled. But that’s when the angel tells her that the Lord has heard her. See, it didn’t matter what Hagar said or where Hagar was. Her story reminds us that even in the driest of deserts, God sees us as individuals. He sees our needs. He addresses them and cares for us.

So that just stuck with me over the weeks. God saw Hagar. God heard Hagar. God protected Hagar. And He does the same thing for me. That’s incredible. So I began spending time thinking about situations that I have completely felt the presence of God take over and times I felt fully confident that He saw me. And then I had one of those experiences.

Like I said, control is hard for me and it’s something I have to work on daily. So long story short, over the past year I’ve felt God working in my heart and preparing me concerning my next mission trip. Little did I know, He was also working in the hearts of one of my best friends. Through many conversations and just moments where I stood in awe of God, Chelsea and I each applied for the same mission trip for next summer.

So after applying I began to look at the logistics. And let me tell you, almost $4,000 to a college student is almost impossible. The idea of having to raise that freaked me out and scared me. I doubted a lot and struggled with how on earth I was supposed to raise that much money. Chelsea and I talked a lot about it and she kept giving me reassurance that if it’s what God wants, the money will come.

Well, we love crafts in our home and we started just a small side business where we make and sell some of our crafts. So we decided to use the money we make from that for our mission trip. Last week, we shared a tiny part of our story on our Facebook page and told people we were doing a discount day to help raise money for it.

We deliver to people who live near us so yesterday we were going to deliver to two of our customers. And that’s where it all comes together. Each time we delivered, they said something along the lines of this: “I know you are only charging me _____. But I know you’re trying to raise money for a mission trip so I put a little extra.” And each person gave us a significant amount of “extra”.

I got in my car after the last delivery and just cried because God saw me. He heard me. He listened to the desperate, scared cries. He watched the doubt and fear. And then He came in and addressed my needs, just like He does every. single. time.

As I was finishing up my Bible study after yesterday’s reassurance, I was reading about Leah and in the devotional it said “God saw her where she was at”. Y’all. The Lord is good. He sees us. And yesterday was one of those precious days that I was reminded of that over and over and over. God sees ME. The Creator of the universe looks at little me. If that’s not overwhelming enough, not only does He see me, He cares for me. He protects me. He provides for me. And He does all the same things for you!

So she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, ‘You are a God of seeing,’ for she said, ‘Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.’ –Genesis 16:13